Okay, it’s not that I never liked going to the beach, but more that going to the beach has always been somewhat of a to-do for me. As a pale brunette descended from the shtetlach of Eastern Europe, going to the beach has long meant dutifully smothering myself in SPF 50 every other hour, getting a mix of sand and suntan lotion all over my Us Weekly, and then getting that same mix of sand and suntan lotion in my Sabra hummus snack pack. I am one of those people, I think, who just does not love baking in the sun. I have a hard time falling asleep on a towel. I get lightheaded. I often think I’m getting heatstroke. So for a long time, before every Rockaways excursion, I’d remember at the last minute that this was the case, and rush to Rite Aid to buy some crappy umbrella — only to have it flip inside out and break 15 minutes into the day, or blow away and nearly impale a nearby toddler’s eye.

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